January 15, 2010

a new beginning


Earlier this week I had to make a very important decision. I had been on an extended maternity leave with my return to work being kind of open ended. It worked out for all of us because I wasn't sure what this new twin-mommy thing would entail, and my office was pretty quiet so they didn't necessarily need me back on after 12 weeks. And that was all going well for a while until one of my co-workers put in her notice to move back home to Texas (I'll miss her so!) and suddenly the office found themselves short-handed. So they called me and a decision that I had been putting off suddenly needed to be made. In 24 hours.

I thought about what I wanted to do all afternoon. Do I return to work? Do I hang up my interior design hat for a while and focus on being a mom? Wade and I discussed the pros and cons of each at length. We crunched the numbers. Will I feel that something's missing if I'm no longer going to work and participating in a "grown-up" world? What will it feel like to say that my profession is 'stay at home mom' when people ask? How hard will it be to get back into the field if I left now but someday wanted to return? How will I handle leaving my babies each day and potentially missing out on their milestones? Can I cope with only spending only an hour or two of waking hours with them each day? In Wade's kind-hearted, supportive way, he made it clear that he'd stand by any decision I made. And it really was a choice that only I could make.

In the end, I decided that right now in my life being a mom to my two darling babies is the most important thing. I know there are going to be days that I'll miss my job so much and I may even sometimes regret the choice to not go back. I know also, though, that I'm going to cherish these early years with Henry & Amelia more than anything. I don't think I would ever look back and regret that.



Both of these images spoke to me. In the first, I get the sense that this woman needed some quiet time to do some thinking. And the second is a reminder that no matter what path I choose, everything will be OK. (From here and here.)

13 comments:

mary said...

Hooray! I'm so happy for you. If/when we are lucky enough to have a baby (or 2), I'm hoping to be able to stay home, too...it's always been my dream. Our only hesitation is the financial aspect of it. I'm really happy to hear that you can pull it off. Work will be there when you're good and ready to go back! :)

Meg said...

i'm so delighted with your choice... you will always be able to find work, but you'll never get back these first few years of Henry & Amelia's lives. When i start having babies, i hope to be able to stop working until they are in school. i think in the end you will be very happy with your decision. and your children will too :)
ps, you are too adorable for words!
xo meg

Dionne said...

It sounds like you guys weighed out your options well, and ultimately, you know what's best. Good for you! I am sure that your new "job" will be sooo rewarding. Different, but an entirely new adventure!

Elizabeth said...

I remember the first time I had to enter "stay at home mom" on our tax return - only because it failed to capture all the creativity, feats of engineering, negotiating expertise, and high level multi-tasking that a day in the life of a mom encompasses! Likewise, I also thought of the impromptu front yard balloon releases to the clouds, the fascination through a toddler's eyes watching a butterfly rest on a flower and all the other magnificent moments of discovery - pure bliss! How do you sum that up in a job title?! You are beginning the best adventure of your life - you will truly treasure the moments ... times two!

Kifus said...

You will not regret your choice Krisitn. Ever. I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!

Jen said...

Kristin, I think you made the right choice. Children grow up so fast, that you definitely don't want to miss those precious first years. Plus, with the skills of an interior designer, if you miss it so badly, you could always start freelancing from home. It will keep your skills fresh, but you'll be able to work on your schedule to balance your life as a mom.

Good luck! Everything will be MORE than ok!

Anne @ The City Sage said...

I can only imagine how difficult a decision that must have been for you to make---especially at the drop of a hat! For what it's worth, in the end I think I'd have done the same thing. Now go smell those sweet little babies' heads for me! (don't they smell SOOOO good?!?)

plus, if you were working AND being a mom, we would miss you in blog land, because no WAY would you have time for all three!

laurennicolelove.com said...

so, SO proud of you. an excellent choice.

my interior designer mommy made the same decision with me and i am thankful for it daily.

all the best,

lauren xox

(love that last photo, btw)

Holly and Sean said...

It's a tough call, but I think you did the right thing by following your heart. And who knows, it may lead to a more exciting path!!! I am so happy to hear that you are doing well with the twins (I am WAYYYYYYYY behind on my blog reading so belated congrats!!). After doing 1 baby I have so much respect and awe for moms of multiples. Can't wait to see and hear more of your adventures in mommy-hood~

Holly

The Cherry Blog said...

aaaw sweet what tough decisions but you know what - I would do the same. your children are only young once, you get to be mum properly and never regret that you missed out then, Truth is - you can go back to work anytime you choose, when it suits you. good mummy decision!!! xx

Aimee said...

Ah, that sounds like it was tough and I am certain you made the right choice...it will be difficult some days no doubt, but you are crafty and smart, and will be able to find ways to fullfill your creative side! H & A will love you for it and are sure lucky! Good luck and let me know if you want to chat anytime! Miss you like crazy and hope to see ya soon! A

Elsa May said...

Phew - what a tough decision (and in such a short timeframe)! Hooray for you - I took five (yes five!) years off work when my boys were born, and yes there were times when I really missed working, but there were many more when I was glad I wasn't. As cliched as it sounds the first years (well all the years) go so fast!

Minnie said...

Kristin, Congratulations on making such a tough decision with such courage. Those are all difficult questions and I do believe the answers are different for everyone. That said, I have never regretted leaving my busy career as a newspaper columnist to take care of my newborn nearly five years ago (does seem like just a few months ago). I now have two kids and I feel so grateful to be able to spend so much time with them without any job pressures. It is definitely hard work and there are many, many days when I do miss the creative aspect and prestige of my career. But the rewards of being with my kids are immense and I would not trade that for anything.